I never buy myself things when out shopping for Christmas presents. But this past Christmas something small but significant happened.
We bought a lotion set for someone and the store was running a special deal of “buy 3 get 2 free”. Although that was more than we needed, I trusted that God would let me know who we were to gift the extra ones to. He was faithful in giving me two names of people I normally wouldn’t buy gifts for, but I was happy to bless. But there was still one lotion left.
I pondered some more and then my husband said, “why don’t you keep it”. I reasoned that I couldn’t possibly keep it because keeping it went against my personal policy of “not buying anything for myself at Christmas”. He then reminded me that I had put lotion on the grocery list and perhaps this was just an “upgrade”. He did have a point. BUT was I okay with an upgrade? Did I deserve it? There must be someone who needs it more than I do. These were just some of the questions running through my mind as we paid for the items and left the store.
So, I kept the lotion for myself and felt compelled to look for a greater purpose. That’s when the Holy Spirit nudged me to ponder the thousands of wishes I have had over the years. Many of them never came to be and many I have forgotten about. For a season of my life I carried a lot of regrets in my heart. I came to understand that some of those were simply wishes and not desires God wanted for me.
Wishes. Desires. Dreams. Fleeting as some of them may be, we all have them. But maybe God wants to give us a reminder of something better. An upgrade, perhaps?
At the change of a calendar year I take the “woulda, shoulda, couldas” of the year and lay them at the cross…again…for the last time. Lol!! I can’t go back and change time, I can only grow forward with what I have learned and try to do a little better.
I wrote the first draft of this post in the last few days of 2018 and now it is officially 2019. It needed an upgrade, aka editing and now I am ready for an upgrade too – an upgrade of my attitude, my approach to life and situations that it holds, my thought life, my choices the first time and the reminder to keep simplifying and downsizing so there is an upgrade in my faith.
I continue to practice trusting God for the desires of my heart and for His timing.
There isn’t much I deserve in this life. I believe that “while I was yet a sinner, Christ demonstrated his love for me.” I am not my own. I have been bought with a price. It wasn’t a “special” that was running during a particular season. Christ paid the price with His life ONCE, so I could have mine ETERNALLY forever! That my friends, is an upgrade no one else can match!! It truly is a deal of a lifetime. No gimmicks. Just truth…all year round.
Maybe you are entering 2019 with a thousand desires that might be unrealized from years past. My prayer is that:
- You will learn to surrender your desires (if you haven’t already) and embrace ones that reveal God’s greater purpose for you. They might even be one in the same.
- That you continue to grow in gratitude for what you do have.
May you have a blessed 2019 and enjoy the upgrades God has in store for you this year!!
What was your favourite gift at Christmas?
What are some wishes, longings, desires that you need to surrender?
Where do you need an upgrade in your story?
Are you carrying regrets from the past? What is God asking you to do with them?
Who in your life needs the gifts God has given you?
Thank you for joining me on this journey,