Can I have this dance?

It was the 8th grade school dance and once again I would be standing on the
sidelines…alone.
All the popular girls were being escorted to the dance floor by many of the
popular boys. I wore a cute outfit and took time to do my hair. I even took the
risk to wear a pair of high heels I borrowed from my mother’s closet. Yes, in the
8th grade, I wore the same size she did. I remember leaning against the wall really
enjoying the music of my generation, the 80’s and was even singing along to many
of the songs. I was enjoying myself for the most part but still had a deep longing
to “be asked to dance”. It didn’t happen.

So, I took matters into my own hands and walked nervously across the gym floor
to him. He will remain nameless for many reasons. There was an Air Supply song
playing that “set the mood” (in my case courage…don’t judge). Before I knew it, I
asked, and he said “sure”, and we were on the dance floor together. Although I
was elated, I was also petrified that I was going to stumble and somehow
embarrass myself or him. Looking back on that day, it seemed right that I would
dance with him because we were the same ethnicity. Although our school was
very multi-ethnic, deep in my heart, I believed I didn’t have a chance with any
other type. Perhaps it was also because I was discovering how I identified
ethnically and racially. And maybe this is the adult me making that assumption
because the 8th grader me, was just trying to get involved so I didn’t feel left out.

 

Class pic

Grade 8 class of 1984.  Milliken Mills P.S., Markham, Ontario, Canada

 

 

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Salt & Pepper shakers resting in a dance position 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fast forward thirty plus years and here I sit, married to the man of my dreams, a
mother to very-quickly-growing-children, and so far away from who I was back
then. I have learned, lived, cried, celebrated, laughed, and danced much since
that evening in the school gym. That young man followed his own religion and
became a brain surgeon. Clearly, we took different paths.

I also have learned something in these past decades. It is NEVER a good idea for
me to take the lead ahead of God’s plans. I have learned that it is ALWAYS best
for me to wait for the Holy Spirit to lead me to the places and spaces He wants for
me.

Thus, the phrase, “Can I have this dance?”. This phrase has become an intimate
part of my spiritual journey but has great rewards in my physical one as well. Let
me explain.

Can I have this dance? This is the Holy Spirit asking me to dance with Him on the
“dance floor” of His choosing. Over the years the dance floor has been locations,
relationships, parenting, jobs, speaking engagements, churches, and a whole list
of conversations where I needed the guidance of the Holy Spirit. There were
many times, when I “didn’t know the song” or “the steps” or even what “shoes” to
wear. But every time, He gave me the assurance that He would “fit my feet” with
the proper shoes. He would lead me across the dance floor in a graceful manner,
cascading to the “music” of His choosing. All I needed was to “trust Him”. God is
a good God and if I followed His steps for me, He wouldn’t allow me to stumble. I
do that on my own. Considering I don’t have the greatest dance moves on a real
dance floor, I knew I could use all the help I could get!

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A little fun with my hubby on the dance floor of a friend’s wedding 🙂

He leads, I follow!!

I make my desires and longings known to Him and in His good time and according
to His purpose for my life, He invites me to dance with Him as He opens doors to
the dance floors of his choosing.

There are some “dance floors” I haven’t been asked to dance on yet, even though
they are places of deep longing. So, I am trusting Him to groom me for the
appointed time.

What about you? Are you ready to dance?

REFLECTION:

What is holding you back from dancing with the Holy Spirit?

What is the “dance floor” you want the Holy Spirit to invite you on?

How willing are you to dance with the Holy Spirt when He asks?

Where in your story are you “taking matters into your own hands”?

 

Thank you for joining me on this journey as I dance with the Holy Spirit.

Kinita

Stay In Your Lane

IMG_0847(the man in the left truck seems to be motioning the man in the other truck to “stay in his lane”.  Chitwan, Nepal, 2014)

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I love writing. Years ago if you would have asked me if I did, the answer would have probably been “no”. But now, decades after graduating from college I reflect on the experiences the Lord has given me and I find great inspiration to write about them. From friendships to marriage to parenting to ministry, there has been so much to learn about and so much to write about, as the Lord leads.

To use a driving / car racing analogy, in my life the Holy Spirit has been the “pace” car. I haven’t always followed His lead very well. In fact, during my young adult years, I would go ahead of Him and then reap the consequences of my actions. I would lose my direction, allowing fear and anxiety to set in. I learned that life is not a circle (like a track) where we are free to go ahead of the “pace” car and still successfully arrive at the finish line. The track of life is open-ended. I learned through my struggles of competition, misappropriated anger, disappointments, health issues, difficult children etc., that I needed a pace car. I needed Jesus.

What locked it in for me was a prayer that my pastor taught us at church. Not only did he share it with us, he was living it as well. The prayer was this, “Lord help me to listen to and obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit”. I wrote it on a 3×5 card and put it on my nightstand so I would see it as the last thing at night and the first thing in the morning. Over time, by the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, I surrendered.

I could see a change in my heart, my choices, my pace, my desires, and my longings. More importantly, my husband and those close to me saw a change and a growth in me. I wanted what God wanted for me, I chose to go at His pace. I longed for my heart to break with the same things that broke His heart. I longed to serve Him with all of me. My desires became about Him and not about me. I learned how to get out of the way and let Him lead. I have a ways to go, but these days, my response to His leading is much quicker.

We have so many choices in life. So many “lanes” to travel in. But God calls us to live in the lane that is specific for each of us. Some would refer to it as “our calling”.

My calling is my responsibility. Your calling is yours. I can’t enter your lane until you have given me permission. You can’t enter into mine for the same reason. You can’t tell me how to parent my children, you can only encourage me on the journey. Don’t get me wrong, suggestions are great, when invited. I can’t tell you how to lead your ministry if you are the worship leader, but I can certainly encourage you in your role.

The Bible teaches about “walking with one another”. We need to do that. It doesn’t tell us to go around telling people what to do. By now you might be saying, “you are telling us what to do!”  Yes, because by choosing to read this blog post you have invited me into your journey.

Since we each have our own lane or calling, whatever you would prefer to use, God wants to join us in that lane. God has called you to something. Jesus wants to be your “pace” car, your guide and example. He gives us the Holy Spirit as our companion for the journey.

Just like I have been hoping you would join me on this journey of my love for writing, He is waiting for you to invite Him into your lane.

Your life is your race, not someone else’s.

Will you choose to continue and finish the race set before you with a pace car that will always remain ahead of you? Or will you choose to keep your eyes on someone else’s journey with the desire to be like them?

Stay in YOUR lane.

Be YOURself in the journey.

Keep YOURself connected to Jesus!!

Thank you for joining me on my journey.

Kinita