Hindsight is 2019

A new day, a new month, a new year, and a new decade are in full swing and in my hindsight is 2019.

You’ve heard the phrase, “hindsight is 20/20”, right?  Well, if not, it’s a thing.  It means having perfect vision after we have gone through something.  Because I love puns (double meanings), I was inspired to use this as a theme for this blog.  Let’s see where it goes! (see what I did there?)

In my hindsight I have 20/19 (yes, a pun, again!)

I dreamed small.

I struggled a lot when maybe in some areas I didn’t need to.

I lost much and gained even more.

I made mistakes only to be challenged to see them as choices.

I met some amazing people who weren’t celebrities or known by the world, but they are passionate about what they do and who they are and are working hard to make a difference in their “worlds”.

I became a mother-in-love and an empty-nester within weeks.

I learned to love deeper and harder.

I discovered physical loneliness while experiencing deep intimacy and companionship with God.

I craved authenticity (this one continues) and realized it in deeper parts of myself.

I fell short…not once but I had 365 days-worth of opportunities to fall short…and I apparently took many of them, sometimes knowingly!  Hindsight is 2019.

You know what?

We all fall short.

There is no-one perfect person, method, arrangement, situation, thing, or place.  We might have feelings of euphoria that make us say “this or that is just perfect” …but those are just emotions…highly unreliable.

Are you with me?

You know what else?

When I fell short, and I knew what to do, I did it.  Not every time, but I needed to practice.  So now in 2020, I (hopefully) won’t fall short in the same areas!!

When I fell short and didn’t know what to do.  I cried, I frequently wrote in my journal, I prayed, I surrendered, I vented to trusted friends…and most importantly, I picked myself up and kept going.  I couldn’t let my imperfections keep me down (carrying that into 2020 as well!!)

I heard this quote years ago, “It doesn’t matter how many times you fall; it just matters that you get up!!”

So, if you feel like you have fallen a long way down in your story, no worries, there’s hope.  It is a new year and you can choose differently!!

Here’s the good news…at the end of this year, we will all have 2020 in our hindsight!!

“You can’t go back and change the beginning,

but you can start where you are

and change the ending.”~C.S.Lewis

What will you set your sights on?REFLECTION:

What do you see in your hindsight?

What will your vision be for this year?

Will you focus on years past and the lessons you learned from those years?

How does your hindsight impact your present?

 

Thank you for joining me on this journey,  Happy New Year to you all!!

Kinita

Who wants an upgrade?

I never buy myself things when out shopping for Christmas presents.  But this past Christmas something small but significant happened.

We bought a lotion set for someone and the store was running a special deal of “buy 3 get 2 free”.  Although that was more than we needed, I trusted that God would let me know who we were to gift the extra ones to.  He was faithful in giving me two names of people I normally wouldn’t buy gifts for, but I was happy to bless. But there was still one lotion left.

I pondered some more and then my husband said, “why don’t you keep it”.  I reasoned that I couldn’t possibly keep it because keeping it went against my personal policy of “not buying anything for myself at Christmas”.  He then reminded me that I had put lotion on the grocery list and perhaps this was just an “upgrade”.  He did have a point.  BUT was I okay with an upgrade?  Did I deserve it?  There must be someone who needs it more than I do.  These were just some of the questions running through my mind as we paid for the items and left the store.

So, I kept the lotion for myself and felt compelled to look for a greater purpose.  That’s when the Holy Spirit nudged me to ponder the thousands of wishes I have had over the years.  Many of them never came to be and many I have forgotten about.  For a season of my life I carried a lot of regrets in my heart.  I came to understand that some of those were simply wishes and not desires God wanted for me.

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Wishes. Desires.  Dreams.  Fleeting as some of them may be, we all have them.  But maybe God wants to give us a reminder of something better.  An upgrade, perhaps?

At the change of a calendar year I take the “woulda, shoulda, couldas” of the year and lay them at the cross…again…for the last time. Lol!!  I can’t go back and change time, I can only grow forward with what I have learned and try to do a little better.

I wrote the first draft of this post in the last few days of 2018 and now it is officially 2019.  It needed an upgrade, aka editing and now I am ready for an upgrade too – an upgrade of my attitude, my approach to life and situations that it holds, my thought life, my choices the first time and the reminder to keep simplifying and downsizing so there is an upgrade in my faith.

I continue to practice trusting God for the desires of my heart and for His timing.

There isn’t much I deserve in this life.  I believe that “while I was yet a sinner, Christ demonstrated his love for me.” I am not my own.  I have been bought with a price.  It wasn’t a “special” that was running during a particular season.  Christ paid the price with His life ONCE, so I could have mine ETERNALLY forever!  That my friends, is an upgrade no one else can match!!  It truly is a deal of a lifetime. No gimmicks. Just truth…all year round.

Maybe you are entering 2019 with a thousand desires that might be unrealized from years past.  My prayer is that:

  1. You will learn to surrender your desires (if you haven’t already) and embrace ones that reveal God’s greater purpose for you. They might even be one in the same.
  2. That you continue to grow in gratitude for what you do have.

 

May you have a blessed 2019 and enjoy the upgrades God has in store for you this year!!

 

REFLECTION:

What was your favourite gift at Christmas?

What are some wishes, longings, desires that you need to surrender?

Where do you need an upgrade in your story?

Are you carrying regrets from the past? What is God asking you to do with them?

Who in your life needs the gifts God has given you?

 

Thank you for joining me on this journey,

Kinita